In The Thick Of It: Blue Christmas

"Never regret anything that has happened in your life, it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten so take it as a lesson learned and move on." - Unknown

I cannot explain what my insides feel like when Christmas is looming large at my doorstep. With certain responsibility falling on my shoulder, I feel helpless being helpless. Yes, at some point in our lives we do stupid things and make stupid decisions as well. Crying over spilled milk will do no help nor lessen the burden you carry. Things may be that sweet at a glance. Your whole being is gravitated towards a rare gem that has a tongue of honey; and you are cast under its spell. Until you realize you suddenly snapped. Then go figure why things do not seem to be what it seemed to be.

I don't get stressed about things that other people might. What I do let get under my skin are things like deadlines, bills, unnecessary throw-aways, wasted efforts, cunning minds taking advantage of the gullible, and  even Christmas traditions, among other things, that fall heavily on my mind.  But does it make any difference if December happens to be a Christmas month? Yes and no. It does because this month happens to be my tightest, and it falls on Christmas. No because Christmas has to pass anyway before we welcome another year filled with hope. Eye staring down at the negatives helplessly tore at me and made me wish away each passing day, and oh yes even on Christmas day.

Seriously though, I said way back when I started this endeavor, that I was excited to see what I would become at the end of this road and how would the experience change me. I hoped then that it would be for the better. As long as I can accept the lessons that life is throwing my way, and learn from them ... truly learn from them, I can say with certainty that this is for the better. Lessons learned indeed are a gem that adds to the pearl of wisdom drawn from the experience of life's adversity. I hope peace on earth will still have a chance. Merry Christmas everyone!