For The Love Of Banana

"These fruits and vegetables resemble the male penis and could arouse women or make them think of sex" - A Muslim Cleric

Before this tragic fate of getting to task our scientists and horticulturists to do away with a next-to-impossible mission,  my deep sympathy already goes out to them, well, except if they happen to be non-Muslims, who do not feel obligated obeying a fatwa. If only to be tasked to modify the shape of a banana into something else except its natural shape, then it guarantees some heads spinning or brain cells squirting out of ears and noses, all for the cause of Muslim women who might be in danger of going to hell for a banana-driven sexual fantasy, let alone from humongous ones that are ubiquitously sold at lovely prices anywhere.

For the sake of ensuring chastity among their women, a fatwa has recently been declared that women should keep their fingers off anything that resembles a male reproductive organ so as to avoid sexual thoughts and risk getting dumped into the lake of fire. The fatwa was announced in Europe by an unnamed Muslim cleric and any devout Muslim who shares the same belief is expected to obey. I don't know if this is a cause for celebration for men who envy bananas getting massaged and pressed by women in the supermarkets (to check worthiness), or sad news for women who love their potassium supplement taken from their well-loved Chiquita, Dole or Del Monte brands.

Now the task of reinventing a banana shaped as square or triangle or even a round one rests on the shoulders of  Muslim scientists, who have the moral mandate to uphold the chastity of their women who are prone to temptation by the tasty and shapely bananas. (Or better yet take out the round-shaped from the option as it may still resemble a proud scrotum.) The cleric who issued the fatwa however did not zero in on banana, as zucchini, cucumber, carrots, aubergine (eggplant) and a lot other elongated produce products also qualify for the criteria of being a temptation for women who potentially see these products as penile substitutes. Well, if these are to be eaten other than the conventional way then it surely poses health hazards to women and the cleric certainly has a case. He even went on saying that women should not lay their hands on these fruits and should require someone else to slice it for them, adding that these should be kept from their sight as this easily provoke them into making sexual thoughts.

The article has been shared by as many people on Facebook, who feel the sense of urgency that this fatwa has to be circulated in the earnest so that more Muslim women could be warned of the danger of even touching a banana so as to stop them from free-falling to hell. I have taken note some of their suggestions (and the reasons) that deserve a second look and should have a rightful place in the cleric's list and therefore be taken off from shelves:

•  upo (bottle gourd) and patola (sponge gourd) - more powerful and sturdy
•  Ikea scented candles - easy to cut and shape
•  markers and ballpens - comes in handy at all places
•  energy drinks such as bison and red bull - has no tendency to become flaccid

Though this fatwa certainly is a source of saving grace for Muslim women, vegetable business could soon be  a thing of the past in Muslim countries, given the burning desire by every Muslim woman to avoid the temptation for fear of populating hell. If in the future a rising incidence of suicides among vegetable sellers can be attributed to this fatwa, it will be a difficult situation for Muslim governments that will be faced with  dilemma between upholding the salvation of their women and killing off livelihoods of their small vegetable sellers, who some of them have inherited the trade from their ancestors. I think at this point a government bias needs to take form by prioritizing the salvation of their women from eternal fire over sustaining the livelihood of vegetable sellers, who in turn could be introduced to other trades away from selling bananas, carrots, cucumber and some other 'sinful' elongated vegetable produce.

In fairness to the cleric, he did not say it is haram or unlawful to sell bananas, cucumber, carrots and other vegetables and fruits of similar shape. He only emphasizes that women fondlingly touching these things can be lured into thinking sexual thoughts and therefore risk sinning and will be in  danger of going to hell. So his advice is tantamount to keeping women from entering the vegetable section except if they are able to convince the store-in-charge that they will only lay their eyes on broccoli, water melon and some other leafy stuff that pose no harm to their chastity. 

If this scenario becomes prevalent in the future, I can see supermarkets in Saudi Arabia with their vegetable sections devoid of black-clad shoppers, especially banana section, with a stern warning hanging as boldly, and even bigger than its price that says: "Muslim women are banned within 5 meter-radius except non-Muslim maids". (Non-Muslims are called 'disbelievers' and therefore have no place in paradise, their fate is sealed, hence the exception.) 

In light of the potential complication this fatwa could cause, Muslim women who are die-hard banana lovers in Saudi Arabia are not expected to weep in one corner and may in turn set the following trends:

• Saudi women could suddenly develop an adoration for non-Muslim maids especially Filipino maids, as they will surely be allowed access to well-loved bananas in supermarkets by showing proof they are Christians in their iqama. (Please note that any Muslim woman, Saudi or not, is not allowed to even look at bananas, let alone get close or touch them.)
• There will be a renewed negotiation between Saudi and Philippine governments initiated by the former, to lift the ban on Filipina domestic helpers with the Saudis bowing to the demands by its counterparts to put in place worker's protection and implement salary demands for Filipina household helpers - a move foreseen as a boon for jobless Filipino women - a surprise Saudi concession, all for the love of banana. 
• Indonesian and Filipino drivers will be finding their niche soon around vegetable sections in lieu of their usual routine of huddling around in malls' parking lots and benches as if they are permanent ornaments in squatting position, while waiting for their women bosses do their shopping. Hmm, could be another worthy cause for a wage hike which is not impossible.
• For families without non-Muslim maids, kids may get their early training of picking the best bananas in supermarkets, while their mothers employ a baton-less conductor skills  15 meters away as to which one to pick.
• There will be unreasonably high hoarding incidence of bananas, as mostly Filipino maids are deployed profusely in all supermarkets nationwide and parading home hunched up with loads of bananas. Filipino maids don't always have to go with their masters when they go shopping, so it is understandable that they invade the supermarkets at once and buy tons of bananas for the love of it.
• Expatriate families that cannot afford a maid may soon find themselves paying for a service charge when the nearest baqala (mini-store) salesman delivers a cluster of banana to their doorstep.
• Finally, women may develop a deep interest for banana as to its mystery and why the warning that could send them rolling into hell. In this case, cucumber, carrots, aubergine, sponge gourd and bottle gourd  with their own powerful lure, could give banana a run for its money.

Given the scenarios above, it will be safe to assume that a widespread protest in Chiquita plantations in South America and a similar one in Del Monte in Mindanao is still remotely possible due to massive sacking of their employees. If a status quo remains, except of course for some imminent changes in policies at our favorite supermarkets (re women have limited access to bananas), there is no need to panic just yet as the Gulf region's  favorite bananas are here to stay.

Dear banana, out of sympathy for  these poor women who would soon be bidding farewell to your irresistible taste and seductive form, I wish you were designed into another form not resembling a mighty truncheon that could weaken their resolve. But who am I to question the wisdom of your Creator? It is my wish that not a single Muslim woman  falls into your sexy trap and be thrown into eternal damnation. We also dread the day seeing you transform into another shape as you would certainly lose your appeal. But it's up to Muslim scientists if their skills and knowledge are up to what is required to get you into another form, hmm probably in a shape of a bulb? If anything, the Christian world prefers that you stay as you are...yellow, sweet and long.

A Call To Conscience: Spare Sakine From Stoning!

"170 people were sentenced to death  including young people and children, and 18 others, men and women for being gay. Two other women also await death by stoning including a 15-year old girl and a 25-year old pregnant woman."

The collective world may not know about her, but this poor soul along with countless others are awaiting their fate - effectively a gruesome death at the hands of the merciless government of Iran. Stoning  no less, is the manner by which these human beings have been and will be subjected to, at the behest of their government, for their being 'sinful' in an otherwise 'blameless' society of religiously devout Muslims. Why this topic? Unsavory it may seem, but as a human being bestowed with the gift of life, it is my obligation, my duty, in my own way, to condemn this country's barbaric judicial system that knows no mercy in the name of religion and chastity.

Today and infinitely,  I join the conscious and conscientious world in a global protest against the imminent stoning of a 43-year old  mother of two in Iran who is accused of having an illicit relationship. Saturday July 24 marks the International Sakine Mohamadi Ashtiani Day, a day of public protests and demonstrations around the world against the impending stoning of Sakine Mohamadi Ashtiani. She has been languishing in jail for five years now and has already received a total of 99 lashes, and with no civil complainant coming forward against her.

Sajjad, her 22-year old son raised the alarm of her imminent stoning because according to him, there is no more further legal recourse to save her mother, at this point in time. My senses just cannot comprehend how her children are able to live through this ordeal. They wouldn't even entertain the thought of her dying by stoning because the word itself is chillingly gruesome. Notwithstanding the official verdict by the judiciary in Iran, Sakine's children wouldn't let go of a tiny hope that their mother could still be saved from stoning. They're desperate to save her life, just like any children, mother or father, or any sane human being, who would be in the same predicament. And this desperation amounts to them begging to the whole world to intervene for their mother. 

As a result of global outcry for Sakine, families of others held in the notorious prison of Tabriz have come forward with news of another 170 people sentenced to death that includes young people and children, and 18 others, men and women  for being gay. Two other women also await death by stoning including a 15-year old girl and a 25-year old pregnant woman. Without the media sensationalizing the story of Sakine, and her children's brave call to the world, the world would have not known there are countless others in Iranian prisons awaiting their fate by hanging or stoning. In the case of Sakine who has no complainant against her, it only makes utterly heartbreaking to realize, that the government that is avowed to protect its citizens, is determined to put on a worldwide spectacle by plucking the 'sinner' out from the 'righteous' by virtue of stoning.

With the world swiftly reacting in rage as  awareness and condemnation began to take its hold, Sakine's son Sajjad has come under a 'pro bono' persecution from government authorities for his brave effort of outing the story to the world. He was reported to have been summoned by the Ministry of Intelligence, and only God knows and the resilient people of Iran, how it is to be subjected to a state-sponsored persecution. Reports of more than a hundred cases of  stoning that have already taken place surfaced, as the world media is increasingly putting  a spotlight on the case of Sakine. More and more barbaric stories and glaringly awful tales of death have emerged subsequently.

July ninth this year, barely two weeks ago, when a 16-year old girl took her own life inside her cell, because she could not bear the reality of literaly counting the minutes into her date with the rope that will put an end to her otherwise young existence. She was accused of murder as a 14-year old girl. One other pregnant woman awaits her delivery before she could qualify to have a date with her stoners. We may ask, are we in the 21st century yet? How could this be happening? When most people are anxious for the countdown to begin for them to grab hold of that haloed Ipad in one part of the world, some are in agony of theirs too in another, albeit the countdown of death!

Sadly, most of us prefer not  to open our eyes or even stare at the facts that these things indeed happen. Most of us may be too busy trailblazing the exploits of heiress cum queen of weeds Paris Hilton from South Africa down to her vacation in France, or perhaps we are too infuriated by LeBron's 'betrayal' of his hometown team that we started to hate the Floridians? Or perhaps our minds incessantly create conclusions why LeBron's half-namesake in another part of the world got ditched by his wife - a famous presidential sister? That all of us have our preoccupations un-trivial enough to neglect, that form part of our happy existence? Is it because we are too disconnected from the greater consciousness and nobler ideals that we frown upon hearing or reading such 'obnoxious' topics as yucky as 'death'? Or perhaps our master's degree is only evident at blogging the latest high-end discounts in town? Are we no better than these stuff?

Where do we stand in a wider perspective as a people? If nobody wails of  the agonies of a fellow human being, who else will? Family is a relevant word these days. We have composed poetries, essays, songs and blogs in celebration of our love for our family. But we are somehow oblivious to the facts that some are losing their family members in a horrific yet legal way before their very eyes. Can you feel their pain? Or do you have overflowing empathy for these co-species that you want to revolt, yet find their story un-bloggable? Are we not blessed? I think I am. And I think you are too. And you are more blessed, because  you  have now mustered the courage to speak up, write about or even Like a Facebook group, condemning the barbaric killings in Iran. I encourage you guests, to sign a petition on Facebook or any other social networking site, condemning this vile practice in a country known for its oppressive regime. Our show of compassion will in no way bring us harm, for a compassionate heart only reinforces the conviction that we are humans, loved by our Maker and ought to love our fellowman. 

Christmas Terror Plot - What Could Have Caused It?

"Call it a subdued confidence. Complacency brought to shame. A weakness laid bare. Or an enemy's unbroken resolve?"

When you are the president of the most powerful nation on the planet - brimming with sharp rhetorics that your administration engages in a no-nonsense war against terrorism, and a vexing call just spoiled your Christmas vacation, informing you that another terrorist plot has just been prevented on Christmas day in an American territory, what would have been your reaction firsthand?

As Barack Obama's administration scrambles to dispel accusations that his Homeland Security people have failed to carry out their duties, air travellers in the US have started to doubt over their safety yet again. This quirky scenario arose from the fact that an Al Qaeda agent has just penetrated US airspace that could have inflicted deaths on innocent Americans.

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, a 23 year-old UK student from Nigeria is the suspect in this foiled terrorist attack. Aboard Northwest Airlines for Detroit from Amsterdam, he travelled under already suspicious circumstances. According to reports, he purchased his one-way ticket in cash for almost US$3,000. He also did not check any luggage save for a small bag, in a scheduled 2-week US visit.

Reports would further support that, this young man still carries a valid US visa, inspite of his inclusion in the UK's watch list for suspicion of radicalism. In a more surprising twist, his father had earlier warned the US embassy in Nigeria, in November 2009, about his son's leanings toward extremism that could potentially pose a threat to American interests.

But despite all this, anti-terrorism agents made no effort to take his case seriously. All necessary tools were at their disposal to at least apprehend this walking time bomb, but failed to take heed of the warnings. When the suspect's father himself waved the red flag of the imminent threat, and only a cold shoulder he could get as a response, there must be an air of complacency within their ranks - which is very contradictory to Obama's stance on war against terrorism.

Not wanting to be accused of incompetence, both the Dutch and American authorities started to play the blame game. American authorities alleged that the Dutch did not use body scanners, that could have detected explosives worn by Umar. But their Dutch counterparts were quick to refute, saying those were not allowed by the US to be used, of which the Americans insisted that either way, the suspect should have not gotten through.

The prevention of this botched terror plot however, should be credited to the brave and quick-thinking passengers of the plane, who subdued the suspect and did not blink a bit, to prevent another would have been 9/11 disaster. The suspect did manage to ignite the explosives, but not in a manner he would have wanted. Reports would later indicate, that the young man from Nigeria had received training in Yemen, sometime in Ramadan this year.

An estimated 76 grams of the PETN explosive was concealed in Umar's body, and a syringe with a chemical catalyst, carefully concealed in a pouch sewn into his underwear. This was a potentially strong explosives that had it been successfully detonated, enough to break the plane's fuselage that could have killed all on board.

This latest incident could be a precursor to another imminent terror attack on US soil. The Al Qaeda group - a sworn enemy of the US has famously declared war against America, and this determined enemy is just getting more ruthless and dangerous. In seven years since America unilaterally declared war against Al Qaeda, it has not inflicted heavy dent on the terrorist group, instead they are just getting more pervasive and sophisticated.

As news of this daring plot has permeated media all over the world, a substantial and more stringent security measures have been implemented right away in ports of the US and Canada. Aviation authorities all over the world are expected to follow suit, which is the natural thing to do. This new unfolding of events does not bode well to an already shaky aviation business, as post 9/11 statistics show that most passengers are becoming wary of air travel.

Though this incident would certainly be a challenge to rectify lapses in airport security, no matter how highly-sophisticated are the West's technology to prevent future attacks, the sworn enemy will always find its way and make its presence felt. The future cannot be foretold, whether how many lives will be lost due to hatred. Reports say that willing suicide bombers in a hundreds are undergoing training in Yemen, and it will only be a matter of time before they can carry out their "martyrdom".

Whether we agree or disagree in unison, the reason why all these nonsense happen - is because of religion. It is indeed a nonsense for any upright-thinking human being, but for a radical mind, full of hatred and wrath - this is what they call martyrdom. They were made to believe, that God delights in the shedding of the blood of the innocent, and that their actions merit rewards and special places in heaven. These twisted views reinforce their belief, that the enemy of their religion is also the enemy of God. And the enemy of God deserves to die. How false and sad. For as long as hatred pervades in their system, there will be no scarcity of haters, and consequently, no dearth of suicide bombers.

As we all know, the root of all these problems dates back in the Old Testament time. The enmity between peoples who refuse to live in harmony - one refuses to accept the existence of another, in the same hallowed ground. It is where the cause originated, and as has been prophesied - on that same hallowed ground, its cause will be settled and come to an end.

There is an unending quest for answers to a question left unsolved since the beginning of time, and this calls for wisdom. Generations of leaders from both sides have endeavored peaceful means to achieve peace. But peace will not be attained. They will never find that peace, instead hatred towards each other will consume their being. And the cycle continues - until the prophecy is fulfilled.

I may not be an authority to tackle issues like this, or if I may say I'm getting out of bounds, but indeed the truth cannot be denied. Each one of us may be having some slight disagreements, and or different insights on the issue, or perhaps I just went too far on a deeper perspective, but my conviction is that - unless we open our senses and start to believe that all these happen to give way for that divine prophecy, we may not be able to comprehend things laid out before our eyes. We may be highly-intelligent in a worldly standard, yet we are doomed to perish because of our lack of understanding. For we have been warned to know the truth because the truth will set us free.

Borne Out Of Hatred?

"Our world has become so complicated that people are busy building walls instead of bridges..."

While so engrossed with my daily task of casting votes for my favorite CNN Hero, I navigated through the CNN homepage and came across with hot issues of today. One particular story that caught my attention, was the heroism by Pvt. Joseph Foster, one of the survivors of that gruesome massacre at Fort Hood in Texas a week ago. He helped would have been victims ran for cover, and in the process spared many lives. He did according to him what he has been trained for.

The massacre at Fort Hood was considered by many to be incomprehensible, given its stature as the biggest military facility in the world, hence security is at its utmost. It is also home to thousands of American military personnel and sophisticated military arsenal. The facility serves as a springboard for those who are bound for the war-torn Iraq and Afghanistan. And the culprit of this despicable act is Major Nidal Malik Hassan, an American-born Muslim of Palestinian descent. He is a psychiatrist by training and had been working in the facility for many years.

As media feast on this inconceivable event, lots of suspicions and foregone conclusion, have been promoted from the fact that he is a Muslim. The subsequent buzz in media would be that of his links with his Islamic faith. That would then be an understatement if it sounded less familiar. It was later known however, that the assassin had communicated with a radical Muslim cleric in Yemen who has links with Al Qaeda. This findings further reinforced the notion that the suspect had infiltrated the US military and waited to carry out his self-styled revenge. At this juncture, should the US government fail to rein in this notion, the likelihood of a backlash against Muslims in the US military would be a dreadful scenario.

But how can they keep the world from concluding that it is his religion that has caused unheard of pain to the victims and their loved ones? The devastated family members of the dead who had not doubted the security and safety inside the facility. And the thought that a colleague and friend to some, did this unthinkable act, even made it more devastating to them. That a person who should have been helping his colleagues live better lives was the one who ended those very lives in haste. This is a painful reality so difficult to get over with. The trust accorded him and his fellow Muslims just quickly evaporated. The aspirations by all that religion will not play a role in a united community has just been crushed.

As an ordinary human being with a an own view to express, I can't help but ask, why is there so much hatred in the world? Why can't people live in harmony without prejudice? Why have we lost the very basic human faculty of compassion? Why have we lost our sound reasoning that killing people, let alone innocent people has never been a solution to any problem? Why blame all for the transgression of one? Why take delight from the fact that we have caused untold sufferings to our fellow human beings? Why treat other people as enemy just because of the color of his skin, his appearance and his religion?

In any religion, I believe there is a basic teachings of love, hope and faithfulness. Even in the Bible, Jesus teaches us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). And I believe, any religion would be very proud of their own teachings about love and forgiveness. But why are there people from among us who believe that killing an enemy, or an innocent pleases our Creator and warrants reward in heaven? Where is the testimony of what we preach in the pulpit that ours is a religion of peace? It is a shame that people who claim to be men of God, are too slow to condemn violence and are reluctant to rebuke this kind of heinous crimes.

As a non-Muslim working in a Muslim society, I have been guided by the principle of treating people with respect and dignity, regardless of one's religion or appearance. However, an air of animosity between religions is an unfortunate thing no one would have wanted to experience. There is that genuine show of concern for your grim destiny if you don't get converted. They were made to believe that non-Muslims have only hell to be their final destination. Personally, I was once prodded by a Muslim colleague to convert to his religion, because according to him, my affiliation to Christianity alone is already a ticket to hell. And I got sympathy for that. While I appreciated his concern, it prompted me to pause and started to appreciate the fact, that I was taught of the forgiveness my God has guaranteed me if I were repentant, and that He looks at one's heart and not on one's religion.

Our world has become so complicated that people are busy building walls instead of bridges, as I would quote from a friend. Hatred is everywhere. It is even taught systematically in school in a certain community. It is a pity that no good will ever be borne from the wrath that we keep in our hearts. I just wish all religions in the world will someday come together in harmony. That no enemy will be labeled on anyone outside of our fold. After all, we are all God's masterpiece, made in His own image, equal in stature and purpose, made to glorify Him and also made accountable to Him, not for what we have achieved, but for what we have done to the rest of our brothers.

RELATED LINK: Where Is The Honor? by Susie Khalil

When Photography Becomes A Form of Terrorism

"My friend smarting from his experience, reasserted that he is a photographer and not a terrorist!"

November 7, 2009 at around 7:30 pm, when we had a brush with Saudi authorities, albeit literally. The timing could be that so bad. We were on our way home from the office, when my friend chanced upon a prospective subject for his photoblog. We parked our car nearby, and started the shoot.

Little did we know, a police patrol passed by and tracked us down. We did not have any single inclination that the police would give us a chase, as we were pretty aware, we did not violate any Saudi law nor offended anyone. But the sight of the police car blocking our way gave me a hellish sensation, knowing how the Saudi police treat expatriates. I kept myself composed. I was not panicking. "If we were to be interrogated, there would be no reason for us to be arrested", I said to myself.

The police then wasted no time searching our car, took our iqamas ( Saudi labor card), and confiscated my friend's camera-a Canon EOS 450D. Sensing a big trouble at hand, I started to call our office. But unfortunately for me, before I could contact the office, one of the officers snatched my cellphone and playfully started to figure out how to operate it. My cellphone unit is SonyEricsson K850i.

One fat police officer began his interrogation. "What were you doing, why were you taking pictures?" I replied in my best Arabic," Sir, this is for my friend's photoblog supposedly for his black and white series." Who would care then, when he did not understand a thing or two from my explanation? What had transpired subsequently, was an endless jabberwocky.

It did not take long however, before we were dragged inside the police car, and to my horror we were handcuffed like criminals. It was very humiliating, as hordes of people started to swarm and witness a spectacle. On the way to the police station in Aziziyah, these two policemen did not waste time searching for any piece of evidence against us. To their frustration, all they could see from our cellphones were pictures of our families and our visual merchandising files.

At the police station, the gadgets they seized from us were turned over to the desk officer. After which, we were literally pushed inside the detention cell. Inside the stinky cell were different nationalities, notably Bangladeshis with petty cases. One Yemeni inmate was a driver and his case was overloading, as he narrated to us. But he couldn't be released because the police was asking for a bribe from his sponsor worth Sr. 1000.

Inside the cell, I offered to pay Sr.10 to a Bangladeshi guy for a call to our office. Our HR people were quick though to act. We were almost 4 hours inside, when we were eventually released. I really thanked God that our predicament was over. I inquired about our supposed crime and our liaison officer told us, it was an anti-terrorism measure for taking photographs. "Are you kidding me?" Yes, a violation of the Saudi government's anti-terrorism law! That's completely nonsense!But that's the truth. And why it took us so long to be released? Because the bribe was too much at Sr.1,500!

My friend smarting from his experience, reasserted that he is a photographer and not a terrorist! One thing I did realize was, when you get apprehended by the police in Saudi Arabia for a police's self-authored crime; one's detention time varies on how quick your sponsor is able to pay bribes at a bargained price. This is quite a story for me in Saudi Arabia, so that when I go back home I will be grateful enough to tell my tales of being an OFW.